Breaking up is hard to do. But, we all go through it at some point in our lives. Along the way, I’ve discovered several healthy ways to get over your ex. They may not be your traditional methods of mourning, but they definitely do the trick…
You’re Dead To Me
…Or, they might as well be. This way of thinking of your ex is healthy even though it sounds harsh. If you think of your ex as deceased, you will no longer cling to the possibility of reconciliation in the future. There is no future for you two. She’s dead to you. This can also help you avoid relapsing and attempting to contact the deceased. If he/she is dead, it is easier to accept the fact that you will never see or speak to this person ever again; thereby, relieving you of a terrible case of the what-ifs (what if he lost his phone and doesn’t have my number anymore, but he really wants to call, what if he’s hurt and can’t get to a phone, but he really wants to call). This could go on forever. But…not if he’s dead to you.
Highlight ALL their imperfections
This is a good time to be as petty as possible. Dig deep. His incessant snoring and excessive back hair should be at the top of this list. Her ugly feet and bad weave should make the list, as well. Be superficial. No one is going to read this but you. This person broke your heart! Get mad! And later, you may just realize that you were actually doing THEM a favor.
Listen to Love Songs…(the mushier, the better)
I know, you’re thinking, how can listening to love songs make you feel better about a break up? Listening to sappy love songs or watching romantic films will help you cry (some don’t need any help doing this), which is a necessary part of the grieving process. Furthermore, there are enough love songs to apply to every scenario imaginable - You caught him cheating (Bust Your Windows, Jazmine Sullivan), Forbidden love (Into The Night, Benny Mardones), Tumultuous relationships (Rehab, Rihanna), Unrequited love (I Can’t Make You Love Me, Bonnie Rait). You name it, there’s a song about it. It just helps to know that you’re not the only one going through a particular situation, and some songs can also provide much needed closure, as they may give you answers to the whys and why nots you would otherwise never receive from the departed.
Make a list of all the things that make YOU amazing
…and unique. Like Chris Rock said, “there’s no way he’ll EVER find another girl that loves Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan,” and she’ll never meet a guy who’s smart, sexy AND makes a mean red velvet cake. Knowing your worth and the value you brought to a relationship can help you heal quicker because you stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you will love and be loved again because you are, in fact, AMAZING.
Write a letter or email that you will NEVER send
I’ve been writing since I was 7, so journaling has always been quite therapeutic for me. But, I believe it is extremely beneficial even if you don’t necessarily enjoy writing. It helps to get it all out. You can say EXACTLY what you’d say if that person were standing in front of you, without holding back. And, it doesn’t matter how childish and pathetic you sound because no one will ever see it.
Redirect your pain
This is actually an old remedy. If you hurt your toe, having someone punch you in the stomach can make you forget all about the pain in your toe. Working out can have the same effect. If you wear yourself out physically, the pain in your heart will subside. Besides, the next time he or she sees you, you want them to REGRET letting you go, you don’t want to reaffirm their decision. So, instead of gorging on donuts and ice cream, run until it hurts.
Notice how harmless and LEGAL all of these suggestions are. Putting sugar in gas tanks and defacing personal property is so 8th grade. It might make you feel good at the moment, but it doesn’t change anything in the long run, except that now, a restraining order has been issued against you. You can thank me later.