male box, relationship rhetoric

Nice Guys DO NOT Finish Last


     First of all, men should not be taking advice from other men about women, and women should not take advice from other women about men.  It’s often “the blind leading the blind.”  Women are notorious for this, but men also write letters to the editors of men’s magazines, seeking male advice on relationships, sometimes wondering if they were told to “kick rocks” because they were too nice. To make matters worse, the men they ask usually reassure them that they did, in fact, get dumped because they were too nice, when this was probably not the case at all.  I am  so over the “nice guys finish last” cop-out.  Nice guys DO NOT finish last.  Nice, UNATTRACTIVE guys finish last. 

     I’m sorry, it needed to be said, and now that I’ve said it, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  Now, when I say unattractive, I’m not just talking about looks.  Maybe you have long, dirty fingernails or you’re annoying.  Whatever the case may be, I’m tired of men that are constantly getting dumped blaming it on the fact that they were ” too nice” in order to save face.  They’re always whining saying, “women don’t want a good man, they want a man that treats them like crap.”  Why would we want this? It just so happens that the men we are attracted to sometimes turn out to be jerks.  But, there is a difference.  No woman would knowingly date a jerk (I can’t speak for groupies).  More than likely, the guy came off as a “nice” guy when they met, and later showed his true colors, but by then, she was already sprung.

Still not convinced?  Then, read on…

     Let’s say, I don’t know, an Olivier Martinez look-alike (accent and all) walked up to me on the street and was as sweet as pie.  We talked and laughed, and he expressed a genuine interest in dating me.  He asked me for my number and called the NEXT day and asked me out.  I happily agreed.  On our first date, he showed up at my door with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and escorted me to a swanky 5-star restaurant with an ocean view.  All night, he told me how beautiful and funny I am, and how happy he was that I agreed to go out with him.  After dinner, let’s just say for the sake of argument, he gave me a nice, long massage (with no funny business).  After the massage, he thanked me for a wonderful evening, gave me a nice long kiss goodnight and left.  Do you honestly think I, or any other woman, would NOT want to go out with him again simply because he was “too nice?”  I’m sure now you see my point.

     Unfortunately, some women can be just as superficial and shallow as men.  So, ‘nice, unattractive guy who finishes last,’ please stop running around telling other men that nice guys finish last, and be honest with yourself.  More than likely, you didn’t get dumped because you were “too nice,” she just wasn’t that into you. #dontshootthe messenger

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Discussion

9 thoughts on “Nice Guys DO NOT Finish Last

  1. Uh … Nice Guys really do finish last.

    And any man is doing themselves a major injustice by getting advice from a woman. If you want advice on getting women, find someone who gets a lot of women. If you need advice on keeping women, find someone who has successfully kept a woman happy.

    I agree it can be used as a cop out, but its just true. Not saying that we all need to be a$$holes, but nice guys never finish first.

    Posted by SBM | April 19, 2011, 6:00 PM
    • “And any man is doing themselves a major injustice by getting advice from a woman. If you want advice on getting women, find someone who gets a lot of women. If you need advice on keeping women, find someone who has successfully kept a woman happy.”

      Thanks for your comment.

      I have gotten into much debate with men, who still firmly believe that nice guys finish last, and you all can continue to believe that if it helps you sleep at night.

      Additionally, I still don’t think any woman can tell me how a man thinks or what he wants because she’s not a man, and vice versa, but if you insist on getting your advice from men who “get a lot of women,” that’s your choice, however, I don’t think it will benefit you in the long run, especially if you’re looking for a relationship, not just sex. Furthermore, I am not giving you advice about women, I am telling you, as a woman, how I feel about this.

      Do you remember that movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You?” Well, apparently, they need to make a movie called “She’s Just Not That Into You” because men just don’t get it! I have put up with A LOT from significant others when there was genuine like or love involved, and I have seen other men and women do it too, so all the reasons we come up with to explain why someone doesn’t want to be with us, or rejection (i.e. I was too nice, I’m too educated and he’s intimidated by me, or he’s just not ready to settle down, etc.) are bogus.

      She doesn’t want to be with you because she just doesn’t. Maybe your ego won’t allow you to believe otherwise, but it’s true. You should never change who you are, especially if it’s a good quality, to make someone else fall for you. If she doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, then, “nice guy,” move on and find someone who will because she’s not “the one.”

      Posted by bellatrice1 | April 19, 2011, 8:41 PM
  2. I think that nice UNATTRACTIVE men finish last, but ATTRACTIVE jerks will always finish first. I think men and women are mostly as nice and accommodating as they have to be, and attractive people don’t have to be that accommodating. The reason a lot of men believe that “nice guys finish last” is because women rarely mention how much looks, body, and sexual prowess are what they want, and usually just say they “want a nice guy”.

    Posted by jlow | June 21, 2012, 6:49 PM
  3. I do believe nice guys finish last. Not all but majority and while I do agree that sometimes it is because the person is unattractive, nice guys are deemed too square and that’s what several of my female friends tell me.

    Posted by petersburgh | July 1, 2012, 2:38 AM
    • Most nice guys feel that nice guys finish last. Are you a nice guy?

      Posted by 30thoughts | July 2, 2012, 11:20 AM
      • I don’t believe I am a “nice” guy but I do know how to treat a woman with respect. I have seen so many women claim they can’t find nice guys when nice guys are right there in front of them. This makes me believe they aren’t looking for nice guys, they’re looking for something specific which maybe be inclusive of the characteristics of a nice guy

        Posted by petersburgh | July 2, 2012, 2:32 PM
      • THIS is absolute truth. Women can’t run down ALL the attributes they’re looking for in a man, but a gentleman is definitely something we want. However, he can’t JUST be a gentleman and expect to get any girl he wants. Just like a woman can’t just be beautiful and expect to get any man she wants. Everyone wants the total package.

        Posted by 30thoughts | July 2, 2012, 9:19 PM

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