I recently read an article called “Grown A** Man or Lil A** Boy?” In it, the author explicitly discusses the main differences between men and boys, as they pertain to relationships. Although crass in his approach, what he says makes a lot of sense.
However, one difference he mentioned resonated above all the others; it was that “grown men lead.”
Have you ever wondered why women flock to men with power, influence and status? It’s not always about the money. While women like Rihanna are unable to articulate it, or refer to it as je ne sais quoi, it is leadership that women find irresistable and sexy. Typically, leaders set trends rather than follow them. They start companies and build empires instead of working to advance someone else’s dream, and they welcome their role as a leader rather than shying away from the tremendous responsibility of being one.
Most leaders also tend to be alpha males (no, I’m not referring to the fraternity). ‘Alpha male’ is the term used to describe a man who is courageous, goal-oriented, competitive and usually confident. They aren’t afraid to take charge. They’re not necessarily domineering; grabbing women by their ponytails and dragging them along mindlessly, but they take charge in the sense that they are able to make decisions and commitments. They command respect by the sheer essence of their being and give respect to those deserving of it.
Ladies, real men lead. Let them. In marriage, the husband and wife become one. However, we want to know that we’re putting our lives in someone’s hands who is able to provide, not just financially, but emotionally as well. I think the author of the article would agree that, what separates a man from a boy is not biological, meaning that males do not become men simply because they age, but because somewhere along the way, they changed their way of thinking.
In essence, the author’s unsolicited relationship advice to us is to let “boys” go. If you are dealing with a man who exhibits the characteristics of a boy – lacks discipline (self-control), shuns responsibility or would rather spend time playing Playstation with his boys than quality time with you, or any female for that matter – as mentioned in the article, until his mind is renewed, unfortunately, he will never be the
a man you want or need him to be.
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”