Sites like Match.com and eHarmony have got the love game locked down. But, after
days months of research, I quickly realized that online dating is simply not for me. From the grocery store-style search methods to the unbelieveably ridiculous photos (wish I could share the ones I’ve come across), I found the experience to be impersonal and far too tedious.
So what, you ask, is my problem? Among other things, these were my main qualms with the online dating process:
#1 I feel like I’m selling myself, literally.
I feel as though I am trying to convince someone to like me and send me a wink or engage in lengthy email exchanges with me based on how witty my profile is, and more importantly, how attractive I am. The problem with this is, I’ve NEVER had to “sell” myself before, and I’d rather not start now.
#2 Posting a profile picture makes me feel vulnerable.
During my research, I couldn’t even bring myself to upload a photo. Uploading a picture would have made me feel like I do when I have to wear those “Hello, my name is…” nametags at networking mixers. I avoid wearing those nametags AT ALL COSTS. It’s the same with posting pictures. I’m totally putting myself out there…naked to the WORLD and I don’t like that feeling.
#3 Cyberjection (yes, I made this up).
Essentially, if no one winks at you or sends you a message showing interest on a daily basis, you are being rejected, DAILY. Subjecting oneself to DAILY rejection may be nothing new for a man, but for a woman, it’s got to hurt.
#4 I hate dating.
Anyone who knows me knows why I hate dating. I’m TIRED of telling my story, as interesting and melodramatic as it may be. Also, I’m a private person when it comes to matters of the heart, so telling my life story, likes and dislikes to nameless, faceless (who I think I’m talking to may not be who I’m talking to) strangers doesn’t appeal to me. Again, it makes me feel exposed and common. Even if a guy on the street tries to holla at me, I have a problem giving him my real name if I’m not interested. I want “knowing me” to be a prize that only a handful of people can claim.
With that being said, here’s what would make online dating more appealing to people like me:
- Posting photos should be optional. I should not be required to post a photo. I should be able to share photos at my discretion.
- ALL online dating sites should be free. This way, the ones that require payment won’t be the only ones with quality men and women seeking quality men and women. I thought love didn’t cost a thing.
- To maintain the integrity of the site, married people or people simply looking for a “good time” should be redirected to other websites like Ashley Madison or Craigslist, primarily focused on fostering these types of “relationships.” Dating sites should be a place for people seeking meaningful relationships to meet others looking for the same. Of course, every person you meet may not turn out to be “the ONE,” but that should, at least, be their intent. These other people looking to make friends and have affairs are clogging the e-waves.
- Dating sites should host live mixers locally for their members, for those of us who thrive in social settings and don’t enjoy talking to people we’ve never met before.
That’s my two cents. What has been your experience with online dating? Would you recommend it to a friend? What’s your favorite site?