I know people say dating is like interviewing for a job, but who knew that determining what I wanted in a partner, would also help me discover what type of job I would find most fulfilling?
Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of those kids who grew up knowing exactlywhat I wanted to do in life – actually I take that back – I did have theories and ideas of what careers I would enjoy, but I could never settle on just one. I’ve always talked about my DREAM job, but I didn’t know exactly what it entailed. Now, I do. Recently, I learned that there are certain elements that must be present for me to be completely satisfied with my career choice, and I learned that these elements were similar to the elements that would be present in my ideal relationship.
As with men, in my professional life, I want the total package (is that naive of me?). I already know that one of my passions is writing, but I think my DREAM job would combine all of my passions and strengths into one big money-earning machine. The same applies to my relationships. I know that I like a man with a great sense of humor, but that’s certainly not all it takes for me to be content with spending a lifetime with that person.
So far, I’ve come up with FIVE characteristics (not in order of importance) of my DREAM job and ideal relationship:
It must pay well. I know, I know, it shouldn’t matter how much I’m making if I’m doing what I love. But, honestly, this is a “PC” way of thinking and everyone who knows me or has read at least one article on this blog KNOWS I’m anything BUT “PC.” I’m not greedy, but I like nice things and have unapologetically expensive taste (it’s really not my fault). I know, there’s no way I will ever be content in a job that isn’t paying well. And, I’m not a golddigger, but I’m not messing with no…
My opinion must be valued. At my dream job, my opinion reigns supreme (meaning I’ll probably have to work for myself). This is obviously not true in relationships, but I love to give advice, so I feel appreciated when my advice is sought and highly valued. If I’m ever at a job where people can ‘take what I say or leave it,’ or my opinion is not considered, I will know that is not where I need to be.
I have to be challenged. I have always taken the road less traveled, maybe to my own detriment. In college, there were core classes that would satisfy certain requirements. Most students took the easiest class that required the least amount of work. Not me. I took a class (Philosophy 101 – I’ve never been so confused in my entire life) that would test my intellect and require me to work hard in order to earn an acceptable grade. If I am not challenged to some extent, I will get bored and be ready to move on to the next gig. The same is oddly true of my love life.
I must have complete autonomy. If I am working for someone else, there MUST be mutual trust. I don’t like hoverers and micro-managers. It indicates that there is a lack of trust in, either my ability to get the job done, or my commitment to getting the job done. Trust in relationships, for me, is equally as important as trust in the workplace. I must be able to come and go as I please without a lot of questions, work wherever and however I please and wear whatever I please. As long as I get the job done, and I do it well, none of these things matter anyway, right?
I must be able to work independently. I do enjoy working as part of a team at times, but I enjoy working alone just as much, if not more. The main reason I dislike working as part of a team is because often, I have to depend on, or wait for someone else to finish their tasks before I can complete mine. If I am a part of a team with at least one slacker, this will frustrate me to no end. The same applies to relationships. My mate MUST be assertive and passionate to some extent or the partnership is bound to fail.
I hope this gives you an idea of how to apply what you’re looking for in a mate to discovering your DREAM job. It definitely worked for me!