off the cuff

Men are from Venus, Women are from Venus

     The classic book on female-male relationships, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, talks about the fundamental differences between men and women when it comes to relationships and life in general.  However, lately I’ve noticed that the distinctions drawn between men and women are being discouraged, and the chiming of the sexes encouraged, which I believe is largely attributed to homosexuality.  Don’t get me wrong, this is not going to become a discussion about being gay and whether homosexuals are really “born that way,” but I desperately want to understand what is so wrong with Men being from Mars and Women being from Venus. 

     Recently, a couple decided to basically conduct a social experiment on their baby by choosing not to reveal the sex of the baby to others and dressing the genderless child in clothing that provokes further ambiguity.  Not disclosing the sex of a baby is asinine.  While it is a mother’s right to do what she wants with her child, what exactly is the point?  What is she trying to prove and why is she using her newborn baby to do it?  The point in witholding the sex of the baby, according to the mother of the genderless baby, Storm (pictured above), is to assert freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place? …).  What makes a world free from gender lines and roles so progressive?  There are men and there are women.  We’re different, biologically, psychologically and physiologically.  Get over it!  I attribute foolishness like this to the waywardness of this world.  These blurred gender lines and roles are the reason for the decrease in marriage as discussed in Nine-to-Fiving is for the birds, the continued battle of the sexes and a host of other issues that I won’t get into. 

     My passionate stance on this issue was intimated in an article I wrote for AskMen.  Oddly, my view on men dressing like ladies in jeggings and high-water trousers in Fashion and the Heterosexual Male  was met with much disdain and launched personal attacks on my character, as well as remarks refuting my intelligence.  Who would have imagined that giving advice on how women want their men to dress would have landed me in such hot water?  Advice is just that, advice.  If you’re secure with what you’re wearing and you are successful in the lady department then who cares what I think?  

I'm uncomfortable not knowing what this is.

     One woman stated that if I think men should dress like men, then I should stop wearing, blazers, jeans, etc. This is illogical.  Obviously, there’s a double standard, which is why the fact that Hillary Clinton rarely sports anything other power pantsuits has led me and others to constantly question her sexuality.  While it is acceptable for me to wear a dress and high heels, I certainly wouldn’t want or expect the same of my signifcant other.  Double standard?  Yes. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? No!  If not desiring romantic attention from a man wearing a murse and a choker makes me sexist, then I’ll be that.  Fortunately, I don’t have a problem with labels.

     At the end of the day, men and women ARE different, and sparking a movement of genderless babies won’t change that. Men urinate standing up, ladies sit down. Women can bear children, men cannot.  Due to these differences, the sexes are also treated differently, and rightfully so.  It seems that women only want to acknowledge their more fragile existence when it benefits them, and fail to understand that our external and internal differences don’t necessarily make us the “weaker” sex and the muscular anatomy of a man doesn’t automatically make them “stronger.” 

     We should embrace our differences, rather than attempting to annihilate them altogether; and more importantly, we shouldn’t change who we are to accommodate what we’ve become.



8 thoughts on “Men are from Venus, Women are from Venus

  1. Well said!! This is a great article!!

    Posted by Mark H. | December 29, 2011, 4:26 AM
  2. Oh girl say that! Great post!

    Posted by krystllyght | December 29, 2011, 10:26 PM
  3. Good article.
    Additionally Fashion and the Hetero Man was a good reminder to take the cutting edge male fashion blogs with a grain of salt. Straight white males can easily become fashion victims instead of leaders.

    Posted by John | March 4, 2012, 8:32 AM
  4. I read your article ‘Fashion and the Heterosexual Male’ as well as the comments that followed and my lord did they get at you… for what? I don’t understand but (shrugs)… Everyone is entitled to their own opinion just as I am mine, in which I agree that if I have to ask “Baby is this shirt yours or mine?” it’s time we sit down and have a serious talk.

    If men want to wear tighter fitting jeans (which I prefer to oversized and/or sagging) and maybe a pastel shirt OK that’s fine but let’s be real-your pants shouldn’t be so tight I can see the curve of your butt cheeks (leave the hip hugging, low-rise jeans to us thank you very much) and that pastel shirt needs to be under a blazer or sports jacket or something… I don’t need you to rock pink just because you’re trying to make a statement… Not every man (see very few) can pull that look off. Period.

    There’s nothing wrong with wanting your man to dress like a man just as we women shouldn’t be upset if men want us to dress like women. And yes I feel like pant suits can still be considered female attire ’cause the fit is just different. We’re not wearing suits that are too big for us trying to assert that we can be just as masculine!

    Posted by lolosofocused | April 16, 2012, 10:57 PM
    • Yes!! They really took it personally. But, I love a good debate. Like you said, nobody wants to see the outline of a man’s butt, except a gay man, because women certainly don’t want it. I basically said some things others are too afraid to say, but they definitely think it. So, if I have to be the one to say it, that is my burden to bear lol

      Posted by 30thoughts | April 17, 2012, 1:00 AM


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