relationship rhetoric, the rich and famous

Lessons I Learned From “Boomerang”


For those of you who aren’t familar, Boomerang is a romantic comedy starring Eddie Murphy, Halle Berry and a host of other outstanding actors and actresses who, together, made this film one of the best of the 90s.  If you haven’t seen it, rent it.  It’s still just as funny 20 years later (I feel old) if you can get past Eddie Murphy’s flat top. But, that just might make it even funnier.

I know movies aren’t real, but art is imitation of life.  Therefore, if done properly, films like this can inadvertently teach us about life, relationships and love. I’m not sure what sparked this post; it’s not as though I recently saw the movie.  Nevertheless, here it goes.

Office Romances, Bad Idea

I’m not sure why so many people still test this theory.  I suppose we all want to think hope that our relationship will be the exception to the rule.  But, maybe if you see the numbers, you will understand just how unlikely it is that yours will EVER fall into this category.  Being the exception to a rule means 9 times out of 10 (90% of the time), the rule holds true.  However, I do realize that you optimists out there will take that 10% chance of finding love at work and run with it.  Good luck with that.

Men don’t love Bi*****

Don’t believe that book!  Sure, Jacqueline (played by Robin Givens) had Marcus (played by Eddie Murphy) sprung at first, but sweet and supportive Angela (played by Halle Berry) ultimately got the guy, after she slapped him and told him to stay the f*** out of her life, to which some would say she was acting like a b…ok, maybe I’ll re-think this one.

Men Hurt Too

Since women are much more vocal about their emotions, we often only hear their woes.  It’s hard to fathom that men, the silent sufferers, have hearts too, and they get broken.

Karma is Truly a Bi***

If there ever was a perfect example of the proverb, ‘you reap what you sow,’ what happened to Marcus in the film is it.  He was a player and a womanizer who ended up getting exactly what he deserved.  Every dog has his day.

“Love is not some disease you just catch”

This is a direct quote. True love is often confused with “butterflies,” which is ultimately infatuation, but it is so much more than that.  However, understanding that most people don’t even know what love is, is probably the bigger lesson to be learned here.

If you love someone, let them go

Although it is mentioned last here, this is one of the most important lessons I learned about love from this film. After Marcus got played by Jacqueline, Angela defended him, consoled him, and helped him reclaim his mojo.  However, Marcus was confused.  With little prodding, and while in a relationship with Angela, Marcus was unable to resist Jacqueline’s feminine wiles.  Realizing that she deserved better, Angela left Marcus after learning of his indiscretions with Jacqueline, but Marcus returned to Angela months later ready and more than willing to be the man she deserved.

Once I started thinking about it, there were a lot of other lessons to be learned from the film. Which ones did I miss?  Do you agree?

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Discussion

13 thoughts on “Lessons I Learned From “Boomerang”

  1. “Love should have brought your ass home last night!!” Classic! Loved this movie… I think one of the other things I can remember learning from this movie (and now I was way too young to be watching it at the time so I’m going on memory here), Is that people change only when and if they are ready to change…

    Posted by lolosofocused | April 16, 2012, 9:25 PM
    • That’s a good one. However, do you think a particular women or man has the ability to make someone want to change, even if they weren’t quite ready. Often, I hear men talk about knowing a woman is the One because she made him want to change or be a better person. I’m in my early 30s, so I was definitely too young to be watching, but it was a very well-written film with a great cast. We need more like these!!

      Posted by 30thoughts | April 16, 2012, 9:44 PM
  2. Yes! I most definitely think that the right person can make someone WANT to change… But I don’t think anyone can change someone else. Nor do I think anyone will change unless they are ready to no matter how much they want to… Does that make sense? I guess the best example of that would be a couple years ago I was dating someone who was seemingly a great guy. He was ready to settle down, I wasn’t, so we parted ways.

    Had this been NOW? Well my last name would be different and I would have had at least three of his babies! Lol Everything factors in… Right person, Right place, right time/ terms. Without all coming together… You just go back to being how you were prior to only wanting to change for that person…

    Posted by lolosofocused | April 16, 2012, 10:20 PM
  3. TT:

    I agree with your list of lessons that one can learn from the film. While I do see your point and can see how it applies to most as it relates to “if you love someone, let them go”, I have never had a desire nor the need to do so. In the event that the woman I was seeing needed a “break” in order to be sure, I wouldn’t look back and would hope that she would do the same because that would not be a fun conversation (Not because I would be mean, but it’s never a fun discussion when two people do not feel the same about one another).

    I have a brief list of my own and look forward to your thoughts.

    Another lesson that can be learned from the film is to do your best to never let your personal life negatively effect your business life, and if you cannot do so, take a vacation.

    I’m not quite sure this lesson is taught in the film because Marcus ends up with Angela, but even considering dating someone your friend had a date with (regardless of whether or not she feels the same) should be a “no go”. While the decision was made independent of Boomerang, my childhood friends (There are only a few) implemented that rule as kids (although we had one neighbor deviate from the code multiple times but with no success) and it is one of my rules to this day.

    Lastly, never “sell yourself” to get ahead, and especially not to Lady Eloise. I’m still scarred!

    Posted by Mark | April 17, 2012, 9:46 AM
    • LOVE the lesson, “don’t sell yourself to get ahead,” and especially not to Lady Eloise. I think the ones you mentioned are also great take-aways from the film, especially the one about not dating friends’ exes. But, I guess I would only say that the exception would be if you are really serious about the girl, and not simply trying to get in her pants. It is still a very delicate situation, and I personally would never date a friend’s ex, but sometimes two people are better suited for others, and if it happens to be a close friend, if they were truly in love, I’d let her have him.

      In the lesson, “if you love someone, let them go,” it isn’t usually used when the feelings are not mutual, but when people are at different points in their life, and although there is a passionate and fulfilling relationship, one is not ready for what the other is ready for, like in the movie. I think Marcus felt the same way Angela did about him, but he wasn’t ready to change his lifestyle and commit to her 100%. By letting him go, she showed him what she will not tolerate his behavior, and also allowed him to do some soul-searching to figure out what he wants to do. A lot of times, we hold on to people so tightly, we’re afraid that if we let them go, they’ll be gone forever. But, if they never return, it just wasn’t meant to be anyway.

      Posted by 30thoughts | April 17, 2012, 10:18 AM
      • I don’t get how a person could find fulfillment in a relationship where they were not on the same page with the other person but, I like you, am aware that it is common for people to do so.

        I completely understand why Angela let Marcus go (temporarily), and understand why some people do the same thing. I just cannot see taking them back.

        You mentioned that people often time hold on to people too tightly (paraphrasing) and I agree. Your statement brings numerous couples that I know or have known to mind. As it relates to myself, I am on the other end of the spectrum and tend to let people go too quickly. I am a work in progress and am working to find that middle ground. 😉

        Posted by Mark | April 18, 2012, 6:47 AM
      • Well, I don’t think they are fulfilled. They’re simply waiting for the other person to be ready. It’s like a lot women who end up in 7 year relationships. They want to be married, but the person they want to marry doesn’t want to be married. So, the question is, do you wait until that person is ready or do you move on and try to find someone who is ready right now, just like you are? I don’t think there’s any right or wrong decision.

        I too tend to let people go too quickly, at times because I feel like if you don’t know that I’m amazing, and you’ll never find anyone better than me, you’re obviously not too bright, and I need to cut my losses and not look back lol!! j/k, but kinda not 😉

        Posted by 30thoughts | April 19, 2012, 2:06 AM
  4. The lesson I learned is that never blame yourself for the failings of others. When Marcus tried to turn it around and say “Jacqueline says I’m a much better person because of you” Angela could have easily said “What did I do/not do that made him cheat on me” She did what we as women should do more often, she made it clear it was him not her “Love shoulda brought your @** home last night”.

    Posted by MzNewy | April 17, 2012, 7:11 PM
    • @MzNewzy So true! Women are notorious for doing this. We think if we had done something differently, he would have stayed, when in reality the blame is ALL on him for stepping outside of the relationship. Great point! Him telling Angela what Jacqueline said was a total slap in the face though. Like Jacqueline’s word is bond. Do you think he was ever in love with Jacqueline? I think he truly thought he was, but he wasn’t. If that’s the case, what is love? He went completely out of his way for Jacqueline. Was it the thrill of the chase? The article I linked to in the post gives a good synopsis on what true love is.

      Posted by 30thoughts | April 17, 2012, 8:34 PM
  5. TT:

    Following up with your last reply to me, while I believe the person should move on and find someone that is ready, I agree that there’s no right or wrong answer but it would be wrong for me! I do know of one situation I believe is wrong…I know a couple who have been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for between 14-16 years!!

    I was in the barbershop the other day and had a conversation with a man who has been married for 40 years. He said “it’s all about commitment. When you make that commitment, it should mean that you’re totally committed.” I remember visiting a college classmates father’s house during his regular weekend domino games. During one of our conversations, another one of our classmates (along with his son) said “I’m never getting married,” to which his dad replied “you see all of us sitting here except “John Doe” (I can’t remember his name) had that special person in our life and let her go to continue the chase and now we’re in our late 50’s and we all are alone.” By the way, these guys handled their business and provided for themselves (I don’t want it to seem like they were undesirable by women) last time I saw them which was years ago.

    Lol! While that is funny that you feel that way, I am with you 100%! I believe that someone should get to know me and feel like they won the lottery (three times) and they should expect me to feel the same way. Lol

    Mark

    Posted by Mark | April 19, 2012, 8:37 AM
    • Boyfriend/girlfriend status for 14-16 years?? What are we, 12!? Lol. Yeah I think men always think once they stop chasing, life will end, but I think that’s because people speak so negatively about marriage these days, but it’s actually a beautiful thing when you do it right. Who wants to be the old guy in the club?

      Posted by 30thoughts | April 19, 2012, 10:14 PM

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