I was thinking to myself the other day – I have NEVER been hit on at church. Real, genuine churchgoing men are like unicorns, so why when I take my seat in the pews seeing all manner of men before me like I’ve just landed at the other end of the rainbow, I always leave empty-handed – no pot of gold, no man? A goon will hit on you anywhere, but the good guys at church don’t approach. Why is that?
Gentlemen, listen up! The church holla is TOO easy. Here are a few reasons why:
*You get to hold her hand EVERY time they pray, and there’s often a lot of touching and talking going on (especially if you attend a Black church), e.g. touch 2 people and say___, hug your neighbor and say___, point at your neighbor and tell them ___, pull on your neighbor’s arm, and the like.
*We’re emotional at church (if we’re truly “saved”). It’s like in the movies, when a man and a woman who initially hate each other’s guts, after a few car chases and brushes with death, fall head over heels in love. This could just be idealistic writing and have no bearing on real life, but I think there’s some truth to it. Enduring dangerous, intense and spiritually charged situations does create a bond – there’s an air of vulnerability that will give you an opportunity to see the real her.
*Churches encourage social interaction. It is one of the few places where a total stranger can walk up to you and you won’t think he’s just trying to get in your pants. I mean, ‘what kind of heathen would be thinking about sex…at church?’
*She will automatically think you’re a good guy, so her defenses will be down. This is sort of an extension of the previous one, but emphasizes that the woman will have already assumed some things about you before you even approach her – good things.
*Sermons are great conversation starters. All you have to do is ask, “so what did you think of the sermon? Or what aspect of the sermon affected you most?”
If I had to guess, I would hypothesize that men don’t step to women at church because they feel it’s inappropriate. If this is how you feel, let me tell you, the church holla could not be MORE appropriate. God is for the church holla because he wants us to be equally yoked, duh. So, next time, you go to church, sit next to that beautiful woman you see every Sunday, and after service, ask her out. You’ll be glad you did.
Guys, have you ever tried the church holla? If so, were you successful? Is it something you would recommend to your friends? Are there any men who would never approach a woman at church? If so, why not? Ladies, have you longed for a nice God-fearing man to make a move on you at church, to your dismay? Have you been hit on at church? If so, is it rare or a common occurrence?