Yes, they absolutely are! (That’s right, I SAID IT), which means, if they are the problem, they are also the solution. Men are doing the choosing 99 percent of the time, and as Patti Sanger would say, “your pickers are OFF!” You’re allowing your little head to do the thinking and, as a result, you end up wifing women who are either bat sh** crazy or gold digging, cold-blooded spawns of Satan who, after they’ve gotten the ring, show their true colors.
As a dating veteran, what I’ve realized is men who are looking for serious relationships are not asking enough OR the right questions. All they know by the end of the first date is that the chick used to be a gymnast and she was voted most likely to become a stripper in high school. Furthermore, as the dating process continues, emphasis is heavily placed on appearance and sex. Sex clouds a man’s judgment, as well. Then when you get your heart broken, you want to pop off about how there’s no good women out there when most of you are choosing the WRONG women to begin with. When I say this, most men (seemingly aware that their picker is in fact off) ask me what they should be looking for and what questions will help them determine whether a woman is fit to be their queen and this is what I say:
Men need to write down or commit to memory their 5 dealbreakers or non-negotiables (many women already do this), and stick to them regardless of what other superficial qualities that woman brings to the table. Meaning, if your date possesses one of your 5 non-negotiables, even if she’s drop dead gorgeous, you must walk away if you are truly interested in finding a wife or a life partner, not just another bed buddy.
Your 5 non-negotiables will ultimately dictate the main questions you’ll ask- but here are 10 telling questions to ask your potential mates.
1. If you won a million dollars, what would you do?
2. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years personally and professionally?
3. How do you feel about divorce?
4. Do you want to be married/have children? When?
5. Are you a lesbian or bisexual?
6. What is your idea of marriage/why do you want to be married?
7. Do you believe in monogamy (considering this is the type of relationship you want)?
8. What was your parents’ relationship like? Were they ever married?
9. What was your dad like?
10. What is a common complaint your exes have about you?
#10 is a personal favorite of mine because I have found that the biggest complaint often rears its ugly head in ALL of their relationships, and is something that should be addressed and dealt with early on, especially if it is one your dealbreakers.
Furthermore, you should introduce your potential mate to family and friends and really take into account their thoughts and feelings towards her. Is she kind to strangers/compassionate? Treat dates like a fun and interesting job interview. Women are often asking ALL the questions, and ultimately determine whether you are a good match for them, but you should also be considering whether she is a good match for you.
Dedicated to… he knows who