off the cuff, relationship rhetoric

What His Job Says About Him


The Myers-Briggs personality test tell us which occupations best suit us based on certain qualities we possess. So, it would follow that occupations also attract certain types of people.  Here’s my assessment as to how that applies:

SALESUsed-Car-Salesman

Men who sell anything for a living (i.e cars, insurance, drugs) are usually slick talkers and very persuasive. They can talk you out of money, and into bed, anything. They are typically good looking and quite charismatic. Don’t fall for the okie doke and don’t be an easy sell.  He should get the side eye until proven innocent. See Love and Other Drugs.

POLICE OFFICER

My brother in law is going to kill me, and he is definitely an exception to the rule, but many cops are known for being power-hungry whores (wince).  Their thirst for power and dominance does not turn off and on like a light switch, so they typically exert their dominance in the home, as well. See Training Day.

LAWYER

Lawyers tend to be jerks depending on what type of law they practice. Sure, I’m studying to be one, but that doesn’t change the facts. With all that you have to go through to dress your name in ESQ, I can’t say that I blame them.  While they can be intelligent and skilled, some tend to be know-it-alls. The arguing could continue outside the courtroom and into the bedroom. Proceed with caution, but enjoy the make-up sex.  See Judge Mathis.

COMPUTER PROGRAMMING/IT

Career techies are typically sexually frustrated, and because they tend to be highly methodical and introverted, they are not socially spry and therefore, may not always have their “way” with the ladies. They tend to find relationships and remain in them because this guarantees consistent nani, of which they have been deprived most of their lives.  See Mark Zuckerburg.

TEACHER

Male teachers are ideal partners. They are typically easygoing, relatable, patient, compassionate, and tend to love kids. They’re not usually materialistic, as they have clearly chosen a profession that offers non-monetary rewards and fulfillment.

NURSEMale Nurse

Male nurses are similar to male teachers. However, their salaries are exponentially larger. They are usually kind and attentive to your needs.  A male nurse gives you the best of both worlds – a doctor without the arrogance and a teacher with better pay. WIN! See Meet the Parents.

DOCTOR

Doctors are a special breed. I cannot say, across the board, that all doctors are snobs, but MOST of them definitely are.  I think you’ll find that surgeons fall into this category more often than general practitioners because they don’t interact with people much. To them, yours is just another body or slab of meat that needs repair.  Doctors also tend to be very busy, so if you’re needy, a doctor is probably not the best mate for you. See Grey’s Anatomy.

ARTIST

Artists of any kind – actors, writers, musicians, painters, sculptors, are typically flighty and unstable individuals with massive egos. They march to the beat of their own drum and take criticism of their work very personally.  Artists would do well to date each other.  Non-artists may not understand their artsy- fartsy partners. See Kanye West.

lenny_kravitz

THERAPIST/PSYCHIATRIST

Therapists/Psychiatrists and the like might be good listeners, but they may constantly be trying to “fix” you. Also, there is the popular conception that shrinks have a screw or 2 loose, but I can’t personally attest to its validity. For more insight, see Gothika.

ATHLETES

The only One positive thing I can say about athletes is they tend to have high libidos and understand how to function as a unit, rather than as individuals.  The downside is athletes couldn’t be faithful if their lives depended on it, and they’re ultra-competitive. If you can stick out with an athlete until they retire, or their member stops working, you’re golden. See Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain, Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods ∞.

POLITICIAN

Politicians are crafty. They HAVE to be.  Their job depends on their ability to get people to like them and trust them.  They are creative in their approach as they realize people will soon stop falling for the same old tricks. On the bright side, they are friendly, master networkers and great company at corporate parties and bar mitzvahs.  See President Obama.

ENTREPRENEURS

I think entrepreneurs make great partners because they understand commitment and they are generally optimistic.  They also are natural leaders, innovative and smart. It takes hard work and dedication to start and grow a business, so they usually don’t mind rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty. However, they may have to travel quite a bit, and their business is their baby. It takes priority even over you (they won’t admit this, but it’s true).  When dating an entrepreneur, have your own life and be supportive.

Any questions?

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Discussion

11 thoughts on “What His Job Says About Him

  1. Oh, this is a boss post right there. I’m talking The Breakdown of All Breakdowns. Interesting concept as it works well for those who dibble and dabble into metaphoric entendre. Like myself. Lol. It appears there are pros and cons to each profession listed. So it wouldn’t be me if I did not ask which do you as a mate prefer your significant other to be involved?

    Politicians – definitely a bunch of liars. No shade towards President Obama though. I do not believe Barack can do any wrong, considering the overall nature of politics in general. I don’t know any truly successful entrepreneurs, but I agree with your assessment. The woman might want to build her own life and be very supportive of the man’s paper chase. Great advice. Athletes – I believe the majority of women dating athletes have already peeped game (the cheating game) and basically use the relationship as a stepping stone. See: Shaunie O’Neal.

    My aunt is a therapist. So believe me when I promise you that I could NEVER date a therapist. Auntie, please forgive me. It seemed like it would be fun and exciting to date a female singer though. I love music, so I can see myself losing myself into a woman that commands audiences via her presence. Moms is a nurse, and she is the best, so my experience with nurses speak of nurturing and as you stated attention to detail. Gonna DM you about the Doctor and you will laugh and laugh and laugh.

    Teachers are cool. So are police officers. I worked in corrections once upon a time and I assure that the dick of a law enforcement officer has no conscience. None, whatsoever. Not sure about female officers – my cousin is a cop and I don’t even think she’s sexually active. Lolololol. Also, if a salesman stumbles across your blog post, he’s gonna be like, “Dang. Why it gotta be like that?” Hahaha.

    Enjoyed the read, humorous and informative as usual.

    Posted by Don | October 9, 2013, 12:52 AM
    • Athletes – I believe the majority of women dating athletes have already peeped game (the cheating game) and basically use the relationship as a stepping stone. See: Shaunie O’Neal.

      LOVE your consistency with the article “See: Shaunie O’Neal!”

      The funny thing about women who date athletes is, some of them act like they thought he was actually going to be faithful! I knew a lot of college athletes, and even the girls were GETTING IT IN!

      I wanted to be a therapist, and I still feel as though I possess some of the qualities of a therapist – inquisitive, attentive, etc. I don’t think I’m crazy though…actually I KNOW I’m not lol.

      To your question: So it wouldn’t be me if I did not ask which do you as a mate prefer your significant other to be involved?
      I would date all except: Athletes. The others at least deserve a chance to prove themselves. As far as preference, out of all the occupations I listed, I’d probably prefer to date a male nurse, though I’ve never met one : (

      And I don’t feel one bit sorry for salesmen. They know how they are!

      Posted by 30thoughts | October 9, 2013, 1:09 AM
      • Nothing really bad or anything about therapist from my experiences, it’s just that more times than not all of the conversations between my aunt and I usually have me re-thinking every decision I’ve ever made in life. She isn’t crazy and neither are you – definitely not what I’m saying. I just don’t like to be made to feel crazy. Lol.

        Your reply to my question: very solid answer.

        Posted by Don | October 9, 2013, 9:50 PM
      • @Don LOL @ rethinking every decision you’ve made in life. I give really good advice too 😉 I think that was my calling

        Posted by 30thoughts | October 12, 2013, 2:22 AM
  2. I believe your observations are quite on point.

    Posted by Mark | October 9, 2013, 2:05 AM
    • @Mark Why thank you! lol

      Posted by 30thoughts | October 9, 2013, 2:07 AM
      • Lol. You’re welcome.

        Posted by Mark | October 9, 2013, 8:51 AM
      • I will say this, I dated two actresses (NEVER again) and they were both quite unstable.

        As an entrepreneur, I have always found it to be extremely difficult to find someone who was supportive of what I do. My experience has been that most just don’t understand and begin to oppose you rather than be somewhat of a calming presence in the midst of the many challenges one faces as an entrepreneur.

        Posted by Mark | October 9, 2013, 9:00 AM
  3. yes i like the list and the analysis

    Posted by petersburgh | October 9, 2013, 4:26 AM
    • @Petersburg Awesome! Nothing to add? I’m sure I’ll get that one techie who won’t like this one bit! Lol

      Posted by 30thoughts | October 9, 2013, 5:12 AM
      • The truth is that there are always exceptions to the rule but I don’t need to say that every time I comment lol. I think everyone knows that. I’m a writer but I don’t have a big ego and I’m sure a tech or two may rock somebody’s world

        Posted by petersburgh | October 9, 2013, 2:44 PM

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