DO NOT DIVORCE! I REPEAT, DO NOT DIVORCE!
If you have someone you love who loves you back, be thankful. Don’t give up on your partner just because you’re bored or times get hard. Work it out because the current state of dating is TRAGIC, to put it mildly.
I was reading the comments on a letter soliciting advice from an on-air radio personality. The woman who wrote in had been “dating” a guy for 2 years when he suddenly disappeared. She learned, after running into a friend of his 4 months later, that he had recently married. Of course, she was shocked and disappointed that she was not chosen. But, there was all this hoopla in the comments about who should have said what, whether she knew she was just a sidepiece, that she had done/given too much without a title, blah blah. You can read the madness here. My thing is, (in the words of Lauryn Hill) “it could all be so simple.”
Dating these days can be terribly confusing. You have to constantly “check in ” to see where things are going, and you mustn’t get too comfortable until you’re unequivocally exclusive. Don’t text too much or call too soon, and NEVER commit the cardinal sin of following your heart or falling in love first. Be selfish. Be aloof. Don’t be thirsty. Don’t be needy. Don’t have expectations. Date as much as you can, and as many people as you can, so as not to be available for the person you really like. Women aren’t to have sex with the guy they see a future with, ONLY with the guy who is clear about only wanting them for sex; he is respected for his candor. Don’t talk too much. Be confident. Stay busy, but make time to date. Trust no one, but remember that trust is key in a successful relationship . Don’t jump to conclusions, but trust your gut. Sadly, I could go on.
You may laugh, but it’s a sad state of affairs in Single Land, and trust me, you want NO parts of it.
I know what you’re thinking:
1) Singles are so lucky! They can just come and go as they please…
Newsflash: NO ONE can go and come as they please 90% of the time ANYWAY because most of us have these things called jobs. True freedom is an illusion.
2) Wow! Single people are so cool…
I know single people seem cool, but we’re not. The term “cool” is reserved for the carefree, the confident, and the wealthy. We’re not carefree because we have problems too. When you’re single, the government doesn’t graciously pay off all your bills and allow you to collect unemployment in perpetuity.
Furthermore, singles, I would guess, are LESS confident than married men and women. Who is most confident when they are looking for a job? In this economy, the job hunt can be destitute, as can be the quest to find true love. There is comfort and security in knowing that, at the end of the day, you can depend on at least one person to always be there for you when you need them.
I would also venture to say that singles, as a whole, are LESS secure financially than their married counterparts. Think about it. Singles have to date. They have to spend money just to meet prospective dates (i.e. online dating, clubbing, eating out, etc.). Additionally, single people usually maintain separate residences, whereas marriages enjoy the luxury of two incomes in one household working together for the greater good.
3) Man! I remember back in the day…
Back-in-the-day game is not comparable to millennial game. You will FAIL miserably at millennial game. The lines you used to pick up chicks back in the day would probably get you slapped today. Not to mention, if you’ve been married for a considerable amount of time, you’ve likely gained a little extra “cushion for the pushin,” so even if you once got by on your good looks, you will no longer. Bottom line: You just don’t look like the same! So, don’t fool around and get your feelings hurt. Take your bald, chunky, hairy behind and have several seats, and be happy that you have someone that loves you, despite your smelly ways.
This was just a little PSA to encourage couples of the world, who are truly happy, to JUST STAY TOGETHER.